Wufei and the Shanghai Terror
by mindmelda
Summary: Sally and Wufei pairing. Wufei vs a ferocious, fanged clawed....kitten?
1. The Gift that Keeps on Giving?

Wufei and the Shanghai Terror  
  
Author: Gina Lin  
Genre: Humor  
Pairing: 5+S  
Warnings: Language  
Rating: Pg-13  
  
Chapter One  
  
(Disclaimer: Don't own, Don't sue, Don't make me have to get medieval on your behind!)  
  
Sally clasped her hands together like a happy child as everyone yelled, "Surprise!"  
  
"A surprise party!" she gasped, looking around at the faces of her friends. She bent over the candles glowing on the large chocolate cake and blew them out.  
  
"See, Wu-chan, I told you she'd like it," said Duo to a slightly scowling Wufei.  
  
"No, ben dan, I told you I hate surprise parties," said Wufei. "Sally, however loves them, which is why I'm tolerating this nonsense."  
  
"Aren't you glad we didn't let Mr. Kill-joy here set it all up?" asked Duo, looking at Sally.  
  
"Oh, Wufei just hates surprises," said Sally, reaching over and giving her husband a small kiss.  
  
"Yes, so don't get any ideas about doing this to me," he said grumpily, but returned the kiss.  
  
"Oh, heaven forbid!" said Sally in mock horror, holding up her hands.  
  
Quatre smiled at them, and Trowa folded his arms, raising one brow.  
  
"Let's open the presents first," said Relena, handing Sally a green and silver box. The box had holes in the top, oddly enough.  
  
"I wonder what it could be?" asked Sally, starting to shake the box a little.  
  
"Careful!" said Relena anxiously. "It's um, fragile."  
  
"Oh, okay," said Sally, beginning to tear off the green and silver paper and the big silver bow.  
  
As she opened the box, an odd sound greeted her ears.  
  
"Niiiiyau!"  
  
"It's a kitten!" said Sally, delightedly. "A beautiful Siamese kitten!"  
  
Relena glowed. "I knew you've been wanting another cat since Ping died," said the blond young woman.  
  
"Ping?" said Wufei, eyeing the small ball of fur.  
  
"Yes, Ping was my cat. I'd had him for years; he finally died of old age a few years ago. He was my kitty when I was a little girl."  
  
Relena reached over and tickled the kitten under its chin, and it batted at her finger. "Her pedigreed name is Shanghai Lu, but of course, you can name her anything you want."  
  
"Shanghai Lu," mused Sally. "I like it."  
  
"There's food, litter, and everything else you'll need, too," said Relena. "I hope you enjoy her."  
  
"I will," said Sally, picking up the beige and chocolate kitten and nuzzling it.  
  
"Do you want to pet her?" Sally asked Wufei, who was stilly eyeing the kitten a bit apprehensively.  
  
"Well, all right," he said reluctantly. He reached out to pet the kitten. Shanghai Lu hissed at him and with lightening speed, sunk her tiny claws into the back of his hand.  
  
"Kisama!" Wufei yelled, pulling back his hand. Four lines of blood began to well up on his hand.  
  
"You must have startled her," said Sally, handing the kitten to Relena. The kitten relaxed and began to purr on Relena's blue clad lap.  
  
"Let's go wash those scratches and put something on them," suggested Sally, tugging him towards the kitchen.  
  
"What about the rest of the presents?" asked Hilde, following them through the doorway.  
  
"Oh, we'll get to it later," said Sally, dabbing something stingy on Wufei's hand, making him wince slightly.  
  
"Just have Duo cut the cake and serve the champagne," said Sally, grinning. "That'll get everyone in the right mood."  
  
"Okay," said Hilde. "Duo, go ahead and cut the cake," she called over her shoulder.  
  
"Yippee!" said Duo, brandishing a large carving knife with a Zorro-like flourish.  
  
"Watch the knife, baka!" growled Heero, who was standing next to him.  
  
"You need a haircut anyway," said Duo, smirking at him and swishing the knife near his unruly locks.  
  
Sally and Wufei came back into the room in time to see Heero pinning Duo's arms behind his back and taking the knife away as Duo howled in protest. He handed it to Relena, who proceeded to cut and serve the cake.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"That beast hates me," said Wufei, regarding the small tear in the bottom of his silk pajama bottoms.  
  
"Nonsense," said Sally, sliding into bed and yawning. "She's just frightened of you."  
  
"She should be," grumbled Wufei. "These are my favorite pajamas!"  
  
"You should try making friends with her," said Sally. "She likes those little cat treats made of dried chicken."  
  
"Bribing the enemy is for weaklings," Wufei stated, sitting down and taking off his slippers.  
  
"You'll never make friends with her with that attitude!" admonished Sally.  
  
"Friends?" he said, lying down. "The best we can hope for is an uneasy truce. She leaves my things undefiled, and I promise not to run her through."  
  
"Wufei!" said Sally.  
  
Just then, the subject of the conversation glided into the room and hopped up on the bed.  
  
"Off!" said Wufei. Shanghai Lu regarded him with unblinking eyes, unperturbed and began to lick a front paw.  
  
"I said 'OFF,!'" yelled Wufei, making a shooing motion with his hands.  
  
The half-grown kitten continued to regard him with an almost human expression of disdain.  
  
"Here, Lu," called Sally, holding out her hand. The kitten ran over to her and rubbed her head against Sally's outstretched fingers. The kitten curled up against Sally as she lay down, purring loudly.  
  
"Damned creature hates me," muttered Wufei as he reached over to kiss Sally good night.  
  
"Ai ya!" yelled Wufei as Lu clawed his arm, then ran under the bed.  
  
Wufei held out his arm and pushing up his now ragged pajama sleeve, regarded the four parallel gouges.  
  
"That's it!" he yelled, jumping out of bed. "Prepare to taste my steel, wretched beast!"  
  
He reached for his katana, which was hanging on the wall.  
  
"Wufei!" hissed Sally. "She's just a little kitten. She's playful, she gets carried away. I'll get you new pajamas!"  
  
"Little kitten?" he said incredulously, turning around. He held out his slightly bleeding arm. "Look at that! Playful little kittens do not nearly rip someone's arm off!"  
  
"You're exaggerating," said Sally, rolling her eyes at him. "It's just a few scratches. Go wash them and come back to bed."  
  
"You care more for that wretched ball of fur than you do me," Wufei pouted, stalking off to the bathroom.  
  
"I do not!" retorted Sally.  
  
"Its not too bad, is it?" asked Sally wincing a little, hearing him curse, banging cabinet doors and rustling around.  
  
"Mei hao*!" he said sarcastically, displaying his now clumsily bandaged arm. (*I'm fine!)  
  
"Here, let me fix that," said Sally in a conciliatory tone.  
  
"It's the least you can do for allowing that fiend to attack me!" he grumbled.  
  
He held out his arm and raised his eyebrows.  
  
Sally smothered a grin and proceeded to quickly re-bandage his arm quickly and efficiently.  
  
"All better now?" she asked.  
  
"It's fine," he said, abruptly pulling back the bed covers and sliding in.  
  
"Sure?" said Sally. "Need some morphine or something?" She smirked at his rigid back.  
  
"FEH!" said Wufei, folding his arms and closing his eyes.  
  
"Well, I could kiss it and make it better," she teased.  
  
She slid an arm around him and kissed him on the ear.  
  
"That is not where I am injured," he said quietly, noticeably relaxing his rigid posture.  
  
"I'll get there, eventually," said Sally, chuckling, reaching over and turning off the light.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Wufei awoke the next morning with heavy feeling on his chest.  
  
"What the.?" as he looked into two blue eyes mere inches from his own.  
  
They were not his wife's.  
  
"AHH!" he yelled, flinching back from what sad experience had taught him was certain pain.  
  
"What's wrong?" exclaimed Sally, running in from the bathroom, her hair dripping.  
  
"Nothing," said Wufei, feeling stupid. There was no trace of his feline tormentor.  
  
"Did you have a nightmare?" asked Sally, bending over to wrap her hair in a towel.  
  
"That must have been it," said Wufei, "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."  
  
"I'm all right now," he said, looking around. He knelt down and looked under the bed.  
  
"Looking for the boogey-man?" asked Sally, bending over to be eye level with him. She grinned.  
  
He scowled at her. "No, he said shortly. "My slippers."  
  
"Right here," she said, reaching under the bed for one, pulling it out and dangling it from a finger. He snatched it from her hand.  
  
He felt around for the other one, and his hand encountered something that was warm, furry, pointed and definitely not his slipper.  
  
"Ai ya!" he yelled, pulling back his hand. There were four gouges on the back of his hand.  
  
"You've got to quit scaring the cat, dear," said Sally, taking his hand and examining the scratches.  
  
"It would take a nuclear explosion to scare that demon spawn!" he grumbled, pulling back his hand.  
  
"Wufei!" Sally said, shaking her head. "Lu is a small predator. If you react with hostility, she will be afraid of you and act defensively. It's as simple as that."  
  
"You forgot one important fact," he stated, folding his arms and glaring at her.  
  
"What?"  
  
"That she-beast from the ninth hell hates me."  
  
"Wufei!"  
  
"No arguments!" he said, standing up.  
  
"I cannot live in the same house with that creature!"  
  
"I can't believe you're being so unreasonable!"  
  
"When I come home, that abomination had better be gone!" he stalked off to the bathroom.  
  
"I can't just get rid of her that easily!" protested Sally. "And, she was a gift. Think of how hurt Relena will be if I do that? And you know when Relena is upset, Heero is NOT happy either!"  
  
Wufei paused. "Very well," he said. "You have 2 weeks to make suitable arrangements. After that I will deal with it myself!" He closed the bathroom door.  
  
"Who died and left you emperor?" demanded Sally, to the door.  
  
"Here Lu, here kitty," Sally said, on her knees, sticking her head under the bed.  
  
"Niyaaaou!" said the Siamese terror, gracefully gliding out from under the bed and rubbing noses with her beloved mistress.  
  
"Why can't you be nicer to Wufei?" she asked, picking up the cat and stroking it behind the ears. Shanghai Lu purred loudly and rubbed her head against Sally's fingers.  
  
"I'll give you a big shrimp for dinner if you quit scratching him, okay?" Sally pleaded in that high, silly voice people reserve for speaking to pets and infants.  
  
"You have to be a good kitty from now on or Wufei will make a rug out of you," she went on.  
  
"Niyaaaou!" said Lu.  
  
"Yes, I know, he's cranky, but he can be nice if you pet his tummy a little," said Sally.  
  
"That's probably why you don't get along," Sally sighed, putting the cat down on the bed to finish dressing. "You're too much alike."  
  
The cat put her nose in the air and walked off. "Sorry," said Sally. "I didn't mean to insult you." She grinned.  
  
"Exactly alike." 


	2. Stalking the Prey

Wufei and the Shanghai Terror  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Stalking the Prey  
  
"I'm going to be gone for 3 days to that boring medical conference on L4," said Sally, as she slid off her shoes and lay back with a large sigh on the sofa.  
  
Wufei looked at her from his chair where he'd been reading, and slid off his glasses. "It'll be the first weekend we've been apart since our wedding," he said dejectedly.  
  
"Oh, it was bound to happen sometime," she shrugged philosophically. "You won't die, I promise." She grinned at him. He was so easy to tease.  
  
He gave her a hard look from over the book on his lap. "I'm sure I won't, but that's not the point."  
  
"What is the point, then?" asked Sally, "Because I seem to have missed it."  
  
"I shall have to care for that insolent creature with which we still unfortunately share our home."  
  
"Oh, that," said Sally, faking a yawn to hide another grin.  
  
"Yes, that," repeated Wufei, looking around somewhat anxiously after uttering the word "creature". Lu had a tendency to ambush him from high places and the bookshelves in the den were perfect for that purpose.  
  
"I suppose I will have to tend to its feeding and other necessities." He shuddered faintly at the idea.  
  
"Well, the 'necessities' take care of themselves since I got one of those automatic litter boxes, so don't cringe."  
  
Wufei looked relieved. "Then all I have to do is provide food and water?"  
  
"And affection, Wufei. It's a warm-blooded creature and likes affection."  
  
"What are you insinuating, woman!" he asked in defensive tones. "I'm affectionate!"  
  
"Yes, when coerced, backed into a corner and pestered relentlessly!" Sally said, laughing. She threw her shoe at him, trying to knock the book out of his hands. She succeeded and threw her head back laughing harder.  
  
Wufei made a slight growling noise and threw down his book. "I'll show you affectionate!"  
  
Sally flung her other shoe at him and missed as she ran from the room, Wufei in hot pursuit.  
  
Shanghai Lu crept from under the sofa and sauntered over to the book Wufei had dropped and sniffed it curiously, then gently sank a fang into this lovely rustling object that held the scent of "the Enemy".  
  
Soon, the small sounds of paper tearing were added to the background of giggles, moans and growls coming from the bedroom.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "All right, you've convinced me," said Sally wryly, sitting up and vaguely wondering why her bra was now hanging from a picture on the wall.  
  
"That's what you get for arguing with me," said Wufei drowsily.  
  
"Remind me to argue with you more often," said Sally.  
  
The only response to this was one of those small grunts someone manages when barely awake.  
  
"Hey, I finally got the last word," said Sally out loud to herself.  
  
She rose, pulling on her bathrobe and went to take a shower.  
  
Wufei awoke half an hour later, vaguely wondering where Sally was, until he began to smell something rather delicious emanating from the hallway that adjoined the kitchen.  
  
"It was my night to cook," he said, coming up behind her and putting his arms around her waist and his chin on her shoulder.  
  
"You looked so relaxed, I didn't want to wake you," replied Sally. "You can take two turns."  
  
"This latest case I'm working on has been time-consuming," he admitted. "And, having Maxwell as a partner is exhausting enough all by itself."  
  
He frowned and reaching for an orange and began to peel it with a distracted air.  
  
"Sometimes, I'm sorry we're not working together anymore," said Sally. "But, I'm much happier working at the hospital. I always preferred being a doctor to being a soldier."  
  
"I'm relieved you're doing less dangerous work," said Wufei. "It's bad enough I have to do it."  
  
"Someone has to do it," said Sally, shrugging her shoulders. "Besides, I can't imagine you doing anything else."  
  
"I had intended to be a teacher," mused Wufei. "After all, I was a scholar first and becoming a soldier was simply a necessity."  
  
Sally looked at him in faint surprise. He didn't often talk about the days before she'd met him.  
  
"You'd be a good teacher, I suppose," said Sally. "I just never imagined...."  
  
"I know." He gave her a small rueful grin, and popped a slice of orange into his mouth. "Life makes strange choices for us."  
  
"Dinner will be ready in 15 minutes," she said, wiping her hands on a towel.  
  
"Just enough time for me to finish the chapter I was reading before I was so, um, rudely interrupted." He smiled at her briefly as he left.  
  
Sally was just contemplating how nice it was to see Wufei smile more often when a roar of pure indignation greeted her ears.  
  
"Where IS that unholy creature?" she heard Wufei yell, and the muffled sounds of more curses. Sally ran into the den.  
  
"Wufei, what's wrong?" she asked.  
  
"Look at my book!" he excalimed, holding up the tattered remnants of what used to be a book and now was largely shredded paper.  
  
"Oh, my goodness," said Sally, "Did Lu do that?"  
  
Wufei rolled his eyes. "Who do you think, woman?" he demanded. "When I find that beast, I'm going to force feed her the rest of it from the other end!"  
  
"Oh, Wufei, I'm sorry," she said, "I'll find Lu, but please don't do anything you'll regret. We can replace your book."  
  
"That animal absolutely despises me," he said looking sadly at the remains of the book. He ceremoniously walked over to the wastebasket and lowered it into the metal cylinder.  
  
"Farewell, old friend," he sighed melodramatically.  
  
Sally in the meantime, was on her hands and knees trying to lure out the culprit from beneath the sofa.  
  
"Here, kitty, here Lu," she coaxed. The animal responded by cringing further under the sofa.  
  
"She knows she's been naughty," said Sally, looking at Wufei, who was standing behind her with his arms folded across his chest.  
  
"She knows what's waiting for her when she comes out," he scoffed. "The creature has no conscience I can detect."  
  
"You're going to have to leave, or she'll never come out," Sally finally said after long minutes of coaxing. "Besides, dinner should be ready, go turn off the oven."  
  
"Cowardly beast," was all Wufei said as he stalked off to the kitchen.  
  
Lu slunk out from beneath the sofa as soon as she detected The Enemy's retreating scent.  
  
Sally scooped up the cat. "Bad kitty," she said to Lu, who proceeded to nuzzle Sally's hand and squeeze her eyes shut endearingly.  
  
"Oh, you're in for it now," said Sally. "You ate Wufei's book and I'm not going to be here to save you this weekend."  
  
"Niyaaaou!" said the Shanghai Terror.  
  
"If I were you, I'd hide until after dinner," said Sally, setting the cat down and giving it a push back under the sofa.  
  
"Maybe for the next week," Sally added as she went to join her husband.  
  
"  
  
" 


	3. All Work and No Sally

Wufei and The Shanghai Terror  
  
Chapter 3  
  
All Work and No Sally  
  
"I am not looking forward to this weekend," thought Wufei as he drove to work after delivering Sally to the shuttle port.  
  
His wireless rang and he pushed a button. "Hello?" Some part of him hoped it was Sally calling to tell him to come back for her.  
  
"Hey, Wu-chan!" said a familiar voice.  
  
"Maxwell," said Wufei. "What do you want?"  
  
"Your phone etiquette sucks," said Duo.  
  
"What do you want?" Wufei repeated, his finger hovering over the "end" button.  
  
"Well, I know you're playing bachelor this weekend, and as luck would have it, so am I," said Duo. "Hilde is going to a spa this weekend with Relena and Noin. So, I was thinkin' maybe you and me could, you know, hang out."  
  
Wufei frowned at the instrument in his hand. "Hang out?" he asked rhetorically.  
  
"Yeah, you know, do some of that male bonding that's so important for one's emotional health."  
  
"Have you been reading bogus self-help books again, Maxwell?"  
  
"Uh, no," Duo lied, feeling embarrassed, then remembering that he never lied, said, "Well, yeah, actually."  
  
Wufei made a sound of exasperation. "Very well, you may come over and we'll 'hang out'."  
  
"Great!" said Duo enthusiastically. "I'll bring grub."  
  
"You'd better," warned Wufei. "I have nothing you'd consider edible, since I don't eat anything I can't pronounce."  
  
"That's just wrong on so many levels, Wu-tang," replied Duo. "What's the point of life if you can't put cheese in a can and fizz in candy?"  
  
"I always knew your philosophy of life was something terribly profound," said Wufei sarcastically, "and with that, I'm hanging up."  
  
"See you tonight!" said Duo gaily.  
  
"Great," thought Wufei. "Now I must entertain the ben dan as well as be stalked by a psychopathic, spoiled rotten cat all weekend."  
  
He was feeling slightly sorry for himself as he pulled into his parking spot.  
  
He heard Sally's voice reminding him that he actually liked and even respected Duo, even though they were about as opposite in personality as two individuals could be and still be of the same species. It had been a while since he'd had 48 hours of Duo at once though.  
  
"Hilde must have the patience of a saint," thought Wufei. Then he grimaced as he remembered Noin saying the same thing to Sally about him, once.  
  
Duo pulled in 10 minutes after him, a bit late, as usual. He looked around briefly and having decided that no one was around, tried to sneak into the Preventors headquarters side entrance.  
  
"Lieutenant Maxwell." Came a familiar voice as he slipped inside.  
  
"Colonel Une, what a pleasure, first thing in the morning!" said Duo cheerfully, giving her a snappy salute.  
  
"Can the crap, Maxwell," said Une, looking at him over her glasses. "You're late again. The 3rd time this week."  
  
"Uh, there's road repairs being done near my house," Duo said quickly. This was true, although it had nothing to do with why he was late.  
  
"No excuse, if you know this, leave earlier," she said to him, folding her arms in a no-nonsense manner.  
  
"Yes, ma'am," said Duo, "May I go now, ma'am?" he said, avoiding her eyes.  
  
"Yes, but one more time, and I'll have you cleaning my desk with your tongue, mister!" she stalked off, leaving Duo rolling his eyes and dancing impatiently in place until she went into the elevator. He took off running for the stairs.  
  
"You're late, again," said Wufei, as Duo dashed past him in the hallway and darted to his office door, which adjoined Wufei's.  
  
"Time slaves," Duo groused as he put his finger on the I.D. padd, which opened the door to his small office and clocked him in at the same time.  
  
"Its called being conscientious," said Wufei, standing just outside the door. "Get a dictionary and look it up."  
  
Duo gave him the finger. "Look this up," he said, and activated the door mechanism, closing it in Wufei's face.  
  
Wufei walked into his own office, feeling slightly better having gotten under Maxwell's skin so easily.  
  
He slid behind his desk, cleared his mind and began to work on some encryption codes Une had given him to decipher. It was engrossing work, for which he was grateful, since it gave him little chance to think about Sally, Duo or a certain despised cat that was probably shredding his favorite chair just for the hell of it until lunchtime.  
  
At noon, Duo stuck his head in Wufei's doorway.  
  
"Sorry about the rude gesture, Wu-man," he said. "Une had just finished reaming my ass about the late thing and I was a little testy."  
  
"Forget it," said Wufei, waving a hand dismissively. "You know how I enjoy pissing you off."  
  
Duo grinned at him. "Wanna grab some lunch?"  
  
"Well," began Wufei, "I was going to finish this last encryption...."  
  
"Ah, all work and no lunch makes Wufei a grumpy boy," said Duo, wagging his finger at Wufei. "Besides, your ass is probably numb from sitting there all morning, not healthy."  
  
"I suppose you're right," sighed Wufei. "It's not as though there's any hurry."  
  
"Yeah, I know, being temporarily sans female companionship stinks," said Duo. "I've actually got more work done this morning than I have all week, just trying to not think about Hilde being gone."  
  
"Don't tell Une," said Wufei. "She'll arrange to have Hilde exiled to a distant asteroid just to get your production up."  
  
Duo laughed. "I bet. Come on, get up and have lunch with me. Bad enough having to brave cafeteria mystery food without eating alone."  
  
Wufei nodded, and closing his laptop, rose and walked out of his office with Duo.  
  
"Hee-chan!" he yelled, seeing Heero's retreating form heading for the elevator.  
  
Heero looked around, and seeing Duo with Wufei, began to impatiently push the buttons on the elevator again.  
  
"Geez, you don't have to look so desperate," said Duo, affecting a hurt look. "I'm not going to attack you."  
  
Heero looked around at Duo and frowned. "I'm late for an appointment," he said pointedly. "Not everything is about you, baka."  
  
Wufei grinned faintly and wondered if Duo would ever learn to accept the fact that Heero was simply not a very open person. That didn't mean he didn't like you, or care, but he was never going to be the tactile and dramatic person Duo was.  
  
"Oh," said Duo simply as they all stepped onto the elevator.  
  
"Did you finish those encryptions?" asked Heero, looking at Wufei.  
  
Wufei frowned slightly. "Une told me there was no rush," he said, "but, I finished them all but the last one."  
  
"I could use them by this afternoon," said Heero. "Things have suddenly heated up with the syndicate on L-4 we're investigating. That's what this meeting is about."  
  
"Really?" asked Duo. "I thought they were just some little punks trying to muscle in on the local crime scene."  
  
"I'll fill you both in later in full," said Heero, "but I got a call from Winner Enterprises this morning. A shipment of a prototype weapon we've been developing in conjunction with them for the Preventors was hijacked last night."  
  
"What kind of weapon?" asked Wufei.  
  
"A weapon that targets a specific individual based on their specific body heat signatures."  
  
"What the hell good is sumthin' like that?" asked Duo, grimacing.  
  
"Actually, it was developed to prevent innocent bystanders from being killed by friendly fire," explained Heero.  
  
Wufei nodded, seeing the implications.  
  
"But, in the wrong hands, this could be used to assassinate a specific individual, correct?" asked the Chinese man.  
  
"Exactly," said Heero grimly.  
  
"In fact, Quatre himself may be the target they have in mind," said Heero. "There are factions that still don't want the peace that people like he and Relena have worked hard for."  
  
"It's much easier to profit from crime during the chaos of war," said Wufei, shaking his head.  
  
Duo bit his lip. "Quat is okay?" he asked Heero.  
  
"He's doubled his personal security," said Heero. "And don't forget, he knows how to take care of himself. Peacetime hasn't made him soft, from what I can tell. He or Trowa."  
  
Duo nodded his head. "Quatre never was soft, just hates killing."  
  
"Don't we all," muttered Heero, as the elevator finally deposited him on the correct floor.  
  
"Duo's going to be at my place this evening," said Wufei. Heero nodded. "Convenient, I can keep you both updated." He took off a jog down the hallway.  
  
Wufei was still frowning in thought when he and Duo walked into the cafeteria.  
  
"Suddenly, I'm not so hungry," said Duo. He proceeded to grab a tray and began to load it up.  
  
"I'd hate to see what you eat when you are, then," said Wufei, looking at the food Duo was piling on.  
  
He grabbed a chicken salad with sesame dressing and iced tea, and they sat down.  
  
Wufei pushed some lettuce around on his plate in a disinterested fashion.  
  
"Something buggin you?" said Duo, between large bites of his cheeseburger.  
  
"Sally is on L-4," said Wufei.  
  
"She's fine," said Duo. "This has nuthin' to do with some medical conference."  
  
"Still, it makes me uneasy."  
  
"Call her if it makes you feel better," suggested Duo. He slid a french fry through a puddle of ketchup and licked it off, then ate the fry.  
  
Wufei looked up at him and nodded briefly, trying not to wince as Duo made love to his food. "I will," he said. "Excuse me for a moment."  
  
He turned around. "Don't touch my food," he warned, as Duo drew back his hand, trying to look innocent.  
  
Wufei went over to a public vidphone connection outside the cafeteria and pushed in the number Sally had given him of her accomodations on L-4.  
  
"Hello?" said a familiar female voice after a few buzzes.  
  
"It's me," said Wufei, wishing he were on the vidphone in his private office.  
  
The visual came on and Sally smiled at him. "Miss me already?" she asked, raising an arched brow.  
  
"Listen," said Wufei, ignoring her teasing. "There might be some trouble there on L-4, having to do with Winner Enterprises. I want you to be careful."  
  
"Is Quatre involved?" asked Sally, now serious.  
  
"Yes, he might be targeted by a crime syndicate we're investigating," said Wufei in a low voice, looking around.  
  
"I'll be careful," promised Sally. "I am a trained soldier, you know."  
  
"You're a civilian now," said Wufei. "Don't get any ideas about being a hero."  
  
"Quit coddling me," said Sally, sounding a bit irritable. "I know what my limits are."  
  
"I'm just making sure you know what's going on," said Wufei defensively.  
  
"I know," said Sally. "I'll be a good girl," she said, giving him a reassuring smile.  
  
Wufei looked around for eavesdroppers. "I miss you."  
  
Sally's face softened. "Me too, ai-ren," she said quietly.  
  
"Wo ni ai," Wufei said and put a finger to his lips.  
  
Sally did the same. "Take care of my kitty," she said.  
  
Wufei rolled his eyes disgustedly. "I assure you, that spawn of hell is living in her usual state of undeserved luxury."  
  
Sally laughed. "Make sure it stays that way. She's my baby."  
  
"Your baby attacks people and will only sleep on silk sheets," said Wufei.  
  
"I know, she takes after you," said Sally.  
  
She left Wufei with an indignant look of denial on his face as the connection was ended.  
  
"How's Sally?" asked Duo when Wufei rejoined him.  
  
"Worrying about the stupid cat," said Wufei.  
  
"Then she's fine," said Duo. "That the kitty Relena gave her last year for her birthday?"  
  
"The very same misbegotten beast," grumbled Wufei.  
  
"What's the matter?" asked Duo. "Don't like cats?"  
  
"No, the cat doesn't like me," said Wufei.  
  
"Ah, what's not to like, Wu-tang?" Duo teased. "You're grumpy, have almost no discernible sense of humor, and perfectionistic."  
  
"Then why to you want to 'hang out' with me?" countered Wufei.  
  
"Because you need someone like me to pull that stick outta your ass occasionally."  
  
"Pardon me while I get all sloppy with gratitude," humphed Wufei.  
  
Duo laughed. "See what I mean?" 


	4. Duo and Lu

Wfuei and the Shanghai Terror  
  
Chapter 4  
  
Duo and Lu  
  
"How's it hangin'?" said Duo as he handed Wufei his overnight bag.  
  
"The same as it was this afternoon," said Wufei, who had grown quite used to this odd greeting, so had a number of comebacks handy. He handed the bag back to Duo. "You know were the guest room is, do I look like a bellboy?"  
  
"Traditional Chinese courtesy takes another blow," said Duo with mock sadness.  
  
"People I regard as pesky relatives do not get V.I.P. treatment," retorted Wufei.  
  
"Really?" asked Duo, smiling broadly. "That's the nicest thing you ever said to me. Which makes me very nervous."  
  
Wufei snorted. "I know it's pointless to ask, but are you hungry?"  
  
"Always," said Duo. "I must have the metabolism of a shrew."  
  
"You must," said Wufei, regarding his friend's lean frame.  
  
"I ordered out, it's in the oven keeping warm."  
  
"Chinese?" asked Duo hopefully. "From Lin Quai's?"  
  
"Not that it matters, because I've seen you eat ungodly slop with the same enthusiasm as Chateau Briand, but yes," answered Wufei.  
  
"I love you," said Duo reverently, opening the oven door and peeking in. He fell to his knees and inhaled raptly.  
  
"No, you love food," said Wufei. "In fact, that position of worship looks just about right. Don't you know that gluttony is one of the seven deadly sins?"  
  
"Guilty of almost all of them," said Duo, with studied nonchalance, rising to his feet. "I figure gluttony is the least of my sins."  
  
"No doubt true of most of us," agreed Wufei.  
  
"Gee, five minutes alone and we're getting all serious," said Duo, suddenly, sauntering into the living room.  
  
"I'm a serious person," said Wufei, gesturing for Duo to sit, and taking overstuffed red chair opposite him.  
  
"Oh yeah," said Duo. "Doesn't that get boring?"  
  
"No," said Wufei shortly. "You might try it sometime."  
  
"Only if you agree to lighten up every once in a while," said Duo, winking at him. "Although I have to admit, you've chilled out since you married Sal."  
  
"Have I?" asked Wufei, raising his eyebrows.  
  
"Yeah, she's got a good sense of humor, and she keeps you on a short leash."  
  
"Really?" asked Wufei dryly. "I must ask her to lengthen my leash a little."  
  
"See, you made a joke!" said Duo. "I think," he added, uncertainly.  
  
"Yes, it was a joke," sighed Wufei. "See, I'm not good at this."  
  
"Well, you're no comedian, but you're improving."  
  
Duo felt something brush by his ankle and looked down. "Hey, it's the kitty," he said, reaching down to scratch the sleek Siamese behind the ears.  
  
Shanghai Lu jumped into Duo's lap and purred loudly. "She likes me," said Duo, continuing to pet the cat.  
  
"Figures," said Wufei, sighing again. "I seem to be the only person she hates."  
  
He watched the cat rub against Duo's fingers and finally roll over to have her pale belly scratched.  
  
"Maybe you're just not a cat person," said Duo.  
  
"My family had a cat when I was a child," said Wufei. "I don't mind them. This one hates me."  
  
"I wonder why?" thought Duo out loud.  
  
"I have no idea," said Wufei. "Let's eat."  
  
"Sounds good to me!" Duo said enthusiastically, standing up and brushing a few cat hairs off of his black jeans.  
  
"I'll just go wash my hands," said Duo. The Siamese followed him into the spare bathroom and jumped up on to the counter to watch him wash, occasionally dipping her paw into the water stream and licking it.  
  
Shanghai Lu followed Duo back into the small dining room, where Wufei was putting food, bowls and chopsticks on the table. Cutlery was kindly added for Duo.  
  
"One day, I'll learn to eat with these things," said Duo, picking up a pair of chopsticks.  
  
"You're not patient enough," said Wufei. "It requires taking time away from shoveling food in one's mouth to learn."  
  
"You're probably right," said Duo, chuckling.  
  
He sat down and began to heap food into his plate.  
  
Duo felt something rub against his ankles in a figure eight pattern.  
  
"Hey kitty, want a bite?" asked Duo, cutting off a piece of chicken. Wufei frowned at him.  
  
"You're spoiling her just like Sally does."  
  
"Cats like to be spoiled," said Duo, letting the cat sniff the offering in his fingers, and then take it carefully. "You know what they say, 'God made cats and dogs so a man will know what it's like to be both slave and master'."  
  
"You have a dog," pointed out Wufei.  
  
"Yeah, I like the attention," said Duo. "Jack slobbers over me, and I like to be slobbered over. Which reminds me, I need to call my neighbor in a bit and remind her to take Jack for a walk like she promised."  
  
"So, you prefer to be master?" asked Wufei.  
  
"I don't care," said Duo. "Maybe that's why kitty cat here doesn't like you, you're competing for the same thing."  
  
Wufei looked thoughtful. "Perhaps," he conceded at length. "However, being a cat's slave does not appeal to me."  
  
Duo chuckled. "Nah, you just have to let her think you're the slave. That's why we're smarter than animals, so we can stay at the top of the food chain."  
  
"I never thought of it that way," admitted Wufei.  
  
"Try it and see if kitty here doesn't warm right up."  
  
"I'm afraid we've already gotten off to a bad start, so I may not very good results. You wouldn't want a cat, would you?"  
  
"No," said Duo, "I'm pushing my luck with the dog. He chewed up one of Hilde's shoes last week."  
  
"So, you would give me advice, and yet your own pet is an undisciplined vandal?" asked Wufei smugly.  
  
"It's easier to give advice than to follow it," said Duo, ruefully as he chewed.  
  
The vidphone buzzed urgently.  
  
Wufei pushed his chair back and went to answer. Heero's face appeared.  
  
"I have your encryptions finished," said Wufei, not bothering with greetings. He knew from long experience that when focused on a case, Heero rarely bothered with pleasantries.  
  
"Good," said Heero succinctly. "I'll need them right away, so I'm coming over."  
  
"I could fax them," said Wufei.  
  
"Not a secure line," said Heero.  
  
"Surely you're being paranoid," said Wufei, frowning.  
  
"Things have escalated," said Heero. "I'll brief you in person when I get there." The connection ended.  
  
"Good old Hee-chan," said Duo, who had come up behind Wufei. "He's as smooth as a rusty razor when he's in mission mode."  
  
"He's worried about something," said Wufei, looking pensive.  
  
"Damn, I knew this'd ruin my weekend," said Duo. "I was gonna watch the hockey finals, too.  
  
"Not at my house," said Wufei. "I refuse to watch grown men fight with sticks over a piece of rubber."  
  
"It's about strategy and finesse," argued Duo.  
  
"It's Neanderthals armed with clubs taking out their hostilities on each other," countered Wufei.  
  
"You just don't understand the dynamics of team sports," said Duo, folding his arms.  
  
"I understand teamwork," said Wufei. "I work with people every day."  
  
"Prove it by letting me watch the hockey finals," said Duo.  
  
"I've been out-maneuvered by Maxwell," sighed Wufei. "I must be getting prematurely senile."  
  
Duo laughed and claiming the remote control, settled down on the sofa and started channel surfing.  
  
The door buzzed a while later and Wufei went to greet Heero.  
  
"Come in," he said, bowing slightly. Heero grunted a greeting and strode past Wufei into the living room where Duo was pounding a pillow and cheering as his team racked up another goal.  
  
Heero grabbed the remote off the arm of the sofa and clicked off the television. Duo gave him a searing look from under his brows.  
  
"Hey, that was the finals," he protested.  
  
Heero looked at him quizzically. "Nani?" he asked.  
  
"Forget it," grumbled Duo. "What's goin' on?"  
  
"I came here to warn you, we may have an information leak at Preventors headquarters," said Heero.  
  
"A mole?" asked Duo, leaning forward.  
  
"Perhaps, or more likely, one of our homes may have been infiltrated and bugged," said Heero. "The Red Fist seems to have access to information gathered by our agents, somehow. Two agents we sent were anticipated and almost captured on L-4 today. One was wounded eluding capture."  
  
"The Red Fist," repeated Duo. "That's the name of those nut jobs that threatened Quat?"  
  
"Yes," said Heero. "They're the ones that hijacked the weapons we were developing. From now on, information must be strictly safeguarded, until we find the leak. No talking about cases with anyone with a low security clearance or on unsecured lines." He looked hard at Duo.  
  
"Hey, I can keep my mouth shut," said Duo defensively.  
  
"Hn, I didn't notice hell freezing over," said Heero, deadpan.  
  
"It must be, because you and Wufei both made jokes tonight," said Duo. "I'm expecting the Apocalypse at least. Scary."  
  
"Would you like some tea, Heero?" asked Wufei politely. "Duo and I were going to have some."  
  
Duo made a face. "I hate tea," he said. "I'll have a beer though," he hinted hopefully.  
  
"No thank you would suffice," said Wufei, scolding Duo a little. "Beer it is."  
  
Heero shook his head. "Thank you, no," he said, standing up. "I'll be lucky to get much sleep tonight, I have to make an emergency trip to L-4."  
  
Wufei gave him an inquiring look. "You're replacing the wounded agent?"  
  
Heero nodded and looked at his watch, "I don't want to miss my shuttle, so I must go."  
  
They all said short good-byes and Duo lunged for the remote as Wufei walked Heero to the door.  
  
Shanghai Lu jumped into Duo's lap as he settled in for the last few minutes of the hockey game. "Shit!" said Duo, looking at the score. "What happened guys?" he yelled at the screen. "We were winning 10 minutes ago!"  
  
"Niayouu!" said the cat, butting her head up hard against Duo's chest.  
  
"Hey kitty, what you want?" asked Duo, absently stroking the cat's head as she continued rubbing on him.  
  
"Niayouu!" said the cat, meowing more frantically.  
  
"You got a problem?" asked Duo facetiously. The cat suddenly nipped Duo's thumb, not hard, but to get his attention.  
  
His attention now on the cat, she jumped down and then looked behind as if asking Duo to follow her. He stood up, and the cat led him in to the den.  
  
"You got a catnip mouse in here you want me to get for you?" guessed Duo. The cat was still acting weird, meowing frantically and jumped up onto the bookshelf.  
  
"Duo?" He heard Wufei's voice calling from the living room.  
  
"I'm in the den," said Duo, feeling a little foolish. "I followed the cat."  
  
"The cat?" asked Wufei, coming in.  
  
"She wanted me to follow her," said Duo. Wufei snorted in disbelief.  
  
"No, seriously," said Duo. "She kept bugging me until I followed her."  
  
"Niayouuu!" said the Siamese insistantly, nudging a book with her head.  
  
"She just wants to feast on another of my books," said Wufei in aggravated tones.  
  
He reached up to grab the cat and hissed in pain as she expertly nailed him with her claws.  
  
"Bad cat!" said Wufei, automatically sticking his punctured finger in his mouth.  
  
"Let me get her," said Duo, reaching up. "Here kitty," he said in a coaxing voice.  
  
The cat flattened her ears and Duo pulled back his hand. "I wonder what's up there that she doesn't want us getting?" he asked out loud.  
  
"There's a step ladder in the kitchen," said Wufei. "Let's take a look."  
  
Coming back momentarily with the stepladder, Wufei climbed up and looked at the top shelf where the cat was perched.  
  
"What the hell?" he uttered, peering around the animal, who proceeded to jump down the shelves with superhuman agility and run out of the room.  
  
"What is it?" asked Duo.  
  
"Some sort of small plastic box with wires coming out of it," said Wufei.  
  
"Holy shit!" said Duo, "What do you think it is?"  
  
"I don't know," said Wufei. "But I sure as hell didn't put it there."  
  
The two men looked at each other. "You think it's a bomb?" asked Duo quietly.  
  
"Not likely," said Wufei, in a low voice. "More like surveillance equipment of some sort."  
  
"A bug?" asked Duo.  
  
"More than likely," said Wufei. "But, I'm going to look over every inch of this house and see if there's anything else."  
  
Duo gritted his teeth. "Whaddya wanna bet my house has a few of these little babies hidden in it too?"  
  
Wufei nodded grimly. "Someone has gone to some effort to spy on us."  
  
"No shit," said Duo.  
  
3 hours later, two more of the devices had been located by Wufei and Duo.  
  
After checking carefully to make sure there were no booby traps, Duo, armed with a pair of wire cutters, disabled the devices.  
  
"Now, our unknown friends will know we know they've been spying on us," said Wufei.  
  
Duo was busy opening one small box with a screwdriver. "No visual, looks like audio pickup only. Hopefully, they'll just think something went wrong with their equipment."  
  
"Well, that's a relief," said Wufei, recalling some of his and Sally's recent activities in the den and the other rooms.  
  
"Yeah, the bad guys heard all the screams and moans, but no visual, I bet that pissed em off." Duo aimed a big perverted grin at his friend.  
  
Wufei groaned, "Disgusting!" he said, shaking his head.  
  
"What unnerves me is when and how this was planted," he said.  
  
"Well, you're gone most days, so is Sally," said Duo. "Easy enough to slip in under the security system, wire up these little babies and leave. I bet the cat saw it all. Too bad she can't talk."  
  
"Well, she seemed to communicate with you rather well," said Wufei.  
  
"Yeah, smart kitty. She knew something was weird and wanted me to check it out, I guess."  
  
"I can't believe I owe a debt of gratitude to that creature," said Wufei.  
  
"All of us," said Duo. "This is the security leak that Heero and Une were worried about."  
  
"Wait until Sally hears her spoiled rotten baby is a heroine," said Wufei sighing and folding his arms, "I'll never hear the end of it." 


	5. Dinner with Winner

Wufei and the Shanghai Terror  
  
Chapter 5  
  
Dinner with Winner  
  
(AN: Sorry kitty lovers, neither Shanghai Lu nor Wufei is in this chapter. However, it fits perfectly within the story and I couldn't resist writing it, just to have Heero inadvertently make the worst joke I've ever written. Get ready to groan.)  
  
Sally was just stepping out of the shower when the vidphone in her hotel buzzed.  
  
Selecting audio only, she answered, "Yes, Dr. Po-Chang here?"  
  
"Hello Sal!" came a familiar voice.  
  
"Quatre!" she exclaimed. "I'd put you on visual, but I just got out of the shower."  
  
"Ah, well," said Quatre with a fake melodramatic sigh, "Denied once again."  
  
"Quatre!" she admonished, laughing. "We don't want to make Trowa jealous, now, do we?"  
  
"I think he's secure enough to handle it," chuckled Quatre.  
  
"Is he there?" asked Sally. "I want to say hello if he is."  
  
"I'm here," said another familiar voice.  
  
"Hello, Trowa," she promptly said. "Everything all right?"  
  
"Fine," said Trowa. Sally had to smile at his familiar succinctness of expression.  
  
"Wufei told me about the hijacking," said Sally. "And the rest of it."  
  
"Ah, I might have known," said Quatre. "I heard from Heero you were on L4 for the medical conference. We should hook up and have dinner this evening before you go."  
  
"That'd be great," Sally said. "I miss you guys."  
  
"Heero is here, you know," said Trowa.  
  
"Really?" said Sally. "Invite him too."  
  
"He's here on Preventor business, but since it partly involves me, I think we can persuade him to come, especially if he thinks he's protecting me from the bad guys," said Quatre.  
  
Sally thought she heard Trowa laugh under his breath, an almost indiscernible sound.  
  
"Is that Trowa?" she asked.  
  
"I merely find it "tres amuseant" that Heero feels the need to protect someone who not only carries a 6 inch knife on his leg and a revolver under his jacket, but is a crack shot," explained Trowa.  
  
"And I beat the pants off you playing racquetball this morning too," said Quatre, laughing.  
  
"I let you beat the pants off of me," said Trowa. "You offer such welcome incentives for losing, mon amour." There was silence for a few seconds except for heavy breathing sounds.  
  
Sally laughed. "Hey, just because I have the visual disconnected doesn't mean I don't have an imagination."  
  
"Oh, right," said Quatre's voice, a little hoarse. He cleared his throat. "How about 6:30 this evening? You'll be all done by then, I assume?"  
  
"Just gives me enough time to get back here, make myself presentable."  
  
"We'll pick you up then," said Quatre. "Good, um, not seeing you," said Quatre, awkwardly.  
  
"Oh, I'll turn on the visual for hell's sake," said Sally. "I have my robe on, but I look like something the cat dragged in."  
  
Flipping on the visual, she was treated to the sight of her two friends.  
  
"Quatre, my darling, you've grown!" said Sally. Quatre gave her a facetious dirty look. "I'm 21, of course I've grown!" he said indignantly. It lasted about one second and he gave her a dazzling smile.  
  
"No one ever says that about me," said Trowa, pouting. Sally laughed. "You've gotten more handsome, then," she said in a conciliatory tone.  
  
Trowa nodded slightly, and averted his eyes. "You made him blush, Sal, I thought only I could do that," said Quatre evilly.  
  
"You look great, Sal," he added. "Don't forget, I have 29 sisters. I've seen so much worse than a woman with her hair in a towel and a bathrobe." He grinned at her. "Hair curlers, fake eyelashes, facials, leg waxing," he shuddered delicately.  
  
"Oh, you're such a gentleman," exclaimed Sally. "If I looked like a mud fence you'd say that. But, it is good to see you."  
  
"Same here," said Trowa. "How's Wufei?"  
  
"Same as always," said Sally. "Handsome, clever, brave, and just. My hero." She sighed like damsel in distress and clasped her hand to her forehead dramatically.  
  
"You forgot critical, overbearing and volatile," said Quatre helpfully. Trowa gave him a light smack on the back of his head. "Be nice," he said sternly. Quatre pouted at him.  
  
"Oh, that too," said Sally, grinning. "Although I'm softening him up. He hasn't threatened to run someone through for a whole month now. A new record."  
  
"Good to hear it," said Trowa, with a deadpan expression, but his verdant colored eyes were twinkling merrily.  
  
"I hate to break this up," said Quatre, "but tempis fugit and I'm going to be late for a meeting unless I run now." He shrugged. "It's not always great to be wanted."  
  
"Speak for yourself," said Trowa, raising a visible brow. "I like it."  
  
"Present company excepted, of course," said Quatre apologetically, grabbing Trowa's hand and kissing the back of it gallantly.  
  
"Bye you two," said Sally, "See you later."  
  
As Quatre bent slightly to end the connection, she heard him yelp slightly as Trowa gave his rear a surreptitious grope. The last thing she saw was Quatre flashing a look of indignation at his partner, who was perfectly feigning total innocence. Sally wasn't sure she was intended to see that last or not, so she ignored it and smiled blankly.  
  
Shaking her hair free of the towel, she looked at the time and ran into the bathroom to dry her hair.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"By all that's holy, Heero, would you sit down?" asked Quatre plaintively, pointing at an empty chair.  
  
"I have a better vantage point if I remain standing, thank you," said Heero gravely.  
  
"Yes, but you're embarrassing the hell out of us," said Sally. "Everyone's staring wondering why you're standing there with your hand under your jacket!"  
  
"Not exactly blending in," said Trowa, shaking his head slowly.  
  
"How are you going to eat like that, anyway?" asked Quatre. "I won't be able to eat my dinner in peace with you just standing there!"  
  
He folded his arms in imitation of Heero's stance and gave him a baleful glare.  
  
"Very well," said Heero, casting his eyes about before sitting on the indicated chair. "But I won't be held responsible if something happens."  
  
"I appreciate your concern," said Quatre, "but I'm not exactly unprepared." He quickly held open the camel's hair jacket he was wearing and displayed a revolver in a holster. "Feel better now?"  
  
Trowa pulled a handful of throwing knives from somewhere under the table and quirked up a corner of his mouth. Just as quickly, they disappeared again.  
  
"And I have a flame thrower in my purse," quipped Sally. Heero stared at her levelly for a full 5 seconds without blinking, and she quit grinning and gulped.  
  
"Well, I DO have mace, a knife and tranquilizer hypo," she said defensively, crossing her green clad legs.  
  
"We took out whole bases with less," said Trowa, giving Heero a pointed look from beneath his red-brown fringe.  
  
"Relax," said Quatre. "I don't intend to let a bunch of deluded criminals ruin my evening with my friends. If I can't enjoy life, then the bastards have already won."  
  
Heero nodded once curtly. "Agreed," he said.  
  
"Now, what are we all having?" said Quatre, determinedly changing the subject. "The roast duck here is wonderful; they have this raspberry/orange sauce that will give you a glimpse of paradise."  
  
After a few moments of purely food-oriented conversation, a waiter came to take their order.  
  
"And what will you be having, Mr. Winner?" asked the waiter, a rather burly individual with a mustache.  
  
"The duck I think," said Quatre.  
  
"Duck!" said Heero, grabbing Sally by the arm and forcing her under the table. He came back up a millisecond later with his revolver drawn directly at the waiter.  
  
Quatre opened his mouth to protest, when Trowa grabbed him pushed him down just before shots rang out.  
  
"What the hell?" asked Quatre in Trowa's ear, under the table.  
  
"Ever see a French waiter with a tattoo of a red fist on his wrist?" asked Trowa, pulling his own gun and aiming it at the "waiter" while Heero rolled amongst the few screaming patrons and began shooting in various directions.  
  
"Shit!" Quatre said, pulling his revolver with one hand. Pulling up his pant leg, he pulled a large knife from a holster buckled to his calf with the other.  
  
"Here," whispered Sally, sliding up next to Trowa. "Stick this in his leg." The "waiter" who had frozen when Heero pointed his revolver at him was within arms reach, and Trowa reached out and plunged the hypo into his thigh. He crumpled to the floor seconds later.  
  
"I'm going to help Heero," said Quatre, peeking out from under the overturned tables around them.  
  
"Be careful," said Trowa, "I'll cover you."  
  
"Sally's unarmed," said Quatre, "You'll have to stay with her."  
  
They nodded at each other and Quatre rolled out from behind the table as Trowa fired cover. From his vantage on one knee behind a nearby half-wall, Quatre saw Heero pinned down behind a water fountain and another overturned table. Two gunmen were firing from opposite directions.  
  
Crawling on his stomach behind chairs and tables, he slowly made his way over behind one of the armed men firing at Heero.  
  
"Hey, asshole!" he shouted, causing the man to turn around. Quatre threw a plate of food at him from one of the overturned tables, causing the man to drop his gun as he instinctively as he shielded himself against the flying object.  
  
Quatre pointed his gun directly at the man's head. "Don't move," he said. "Let's get those hands up where we can see them, shall we?"  
  
Heero, having only one gunman to contend with now, made short work of him by shooting him in his gun arm. The man sunk to the floor howling, holding his shattered upper arm.  
  
"Very nice," said Heero, coming out from behind the now wildly squirting fountain.  
  
"Why thank you," said Quatre, giving a small bow, but never taking his eyes off the man he was holding his gun on.  
  
"You're bleeding!" he said to Heero, when he glanced over in his direction.  
  
"I suppose," said Heero shrugging. He looked down at a small stain of blood spreading on his right pants leg.  
  
"Trowa, call an ambulance!" yelled Quatre. "Already done," said the quiet man, putting away his cell phone.  
  
"Let me look at that," said Sally standing up and walking over to Heero.  
  
"It's nothing," he said quietly.  
  
"Sit down," growled Sally. "I swear, you're worse than Wufei."  
  
"Just a graze, I think," said Heero, sitting down on the chair that Sally pulle up for him.  
  
The man Quatre held his gun on fidgeted a bit, and Quatre said, "That's a no-no!" with an evil smile, causing the man to widen his eyes and stand still.  
  
"Got something we can tie this guy up with?" asked Quatre. "My arm is getting tired."  
  
"Here," said Heero, throwing him a pair of handcuffs. Quatre gave him a questioning look.  
  
"Never leave home without them," said Heero, his lips curving up slightly.  
  
Quatre went over to the man and said to Trowa, "Hold your gun on him while I cuff him."  
  
Trowa nodded and came over, holding his revolver on the man.  
  
"Hands behind your back," said Quatre roughly, sticking his knee in the small of the man's back. The man grunted, but complied. Quatre snapped on the cuffs, after looping them around the back of a nearby chair.  
  
"Run, and you'll be dragging that with you," he said in the man's face.  
  
"We shall prevail in spite of your decadence!" the man spat in his face.  
  
"Yeah right," said Quatre wearily, sitting backward on a chair he'd pulled up. "Pull the other one."  
  
"I have another hypo, if you think it'd help," offered Sally.  
  
"Anything so we don't have to listen to this crap," said Heero.  
  
Sally smiled and walking over to the captive gunman gleefully stuck a hypo in his arm.  
  
"I hope you have nightmares," she said as he slumped to the floor. 


	6. Nine Lives

Wufei and the Shanghai Terror  
  
Chapter 6  
  
Nine Lives  
  
"I still can't believe our house was bugged," said Sally, putting her feet in Wufei's lap as she laid her head against the arm of the sofa.  
  
"The Red Fist operatives were getting pretty desperate to get information about our mission objectives. They had the vidphone's of several Preventor agents tapped, as well as listening devices."  
  
"Gives me the creeps to think they were spying on us like that," said Sally, hugging herself through her fluffy cotton bathrobe.  
  
"It's over," said Wufei quietly. "I'm just relieved you're all right. Didn't I warn you to be careful?"  
  
"You make it sound like I was bored and needed to have people shooting at me again to make my evening complete," pouted Sally. "I assure you, I would have much rather had a quiet evening of friendly banter with Quatre and Trowa than dodging bullets and bleeding."  
  
"I didn't mean to make it sound as though you invited trouble," said Wufei. "I'm still a little jumpy, is all."  
  
"Too jumpy to rub your poor wife's tired and aching feet?" purred Sally. "I knew I'd regret taking that double shift when I got back from L4."  
  
"You need to learn to take it easier on yourself," scolded Wufei. He began to gently rub Sally's feet between his thumbs and forefingers, eliciting a groan of pleasure from her.  
  
"So says Mr. Workaholic," she said between pleasurable sounds.  
  
"Silence or I shall tickle you unmercifully," said Wufei, reaching up and giving Sally a warning tickle on the inside of her knee.  
  
"Ah!" she said, gasping and jerking her leg. "BE still," Wufei growled.  
  
"NO bickering tonight," he said. "Even in fun. I want to relax and enjoy your company."  
  
"Ah, but bickering with you is so much fun," said Sally, rubbing her unoccupied foot against his thigh.  
  
"We should be able to spend one evening without that," said Wufei sternly.  
  
"You make it sound like it's all my fault," said Sally, giving him a frosty glance.  
  
"You're starting!" Wufei warned. "I said no arguing."  
  
"Bossy," said Sally.  
  
"Yes, I am," said Wufei, pressing on a particularly sore spot on her arch and smiling evilly as she gasped.  
  
"You enjoyed that!" she exclaimed accusingly.  
  
"So did you," he said.  
  
"Just rub, slave," she said. "My other foot is getting jealous."  
  
A lithe furry form appeared on the back of the sofa.  
  
"Lu!" said Sally. "How's my baby kitty?" she cooed, holding out her fingers to be sniffed. "What a brave girl you were, all alone with those bad men."  
  
Wufei rolled his eyes, but said nothing as he continued to massage Sally's feet.  
  
Lu jumped into Wufei's lap next to Sally's foot.  
  
He flinched a little, expecting the usual attack.  
  
Lu proceeded to walk up Sally's leg and settle on her stomach, purring loudly.  
  
"Hey, she didn't scratch you," said Sally.  
  
"Imagine that," said Wufei dryly. "Maybe she's bored with hearing me scream in pain."  
  
"No, I think she knows you don't hate her anymore."  
  
"I never did," said Wufei defensively.  
  
"You didn't want to share me with her, admit it," insisted Sally.  
  
"I will not admit to being jealous of a fickle feline," said Wufei.  
  
"Stubborn," said Sally.  
  
"You knew that when you married me," said Wufei.  
  
The doorbell buzzed. Wufei groaned. "What now?"  
  
"Go answer the door," said Sally. "I'll run and change."  
  
She slid the cat off her stomach to the floor, earning an annoyed meow, and headed toward the bedroom.  
  
Wufei went and jerked open the door.  
  
"Surprise, it's us!" said Duo. Hilde was holding onto his arm with a dubious look on her gamine features.  
  
"I told him to call first," she explained.  
  
"Girl has no sense of adventure," said Duo. "Whatcha waitin' for, invite us in, Wu-tang."  
  
Wufei stepped back from the door, saying nothing, as Duo swept into the room dragging Hilde with him.  
  
"Brought ya something," he said, holding out a bottle.  
  
"Champagne?" asked Wufei.  
  
"Yeah, to celebrate Sally getting home in one piece," he explained. "We're gonna drink and run, but I wanted to see for myself that she's all right."  
  
"That's um, very nice of you," said Wufei, eyeing the bottle.  
  
"Where'd you get this," he said, looking at the date on the bottle and raising an eyebrow.  
  
"I stole it from Quat's wine room last time we were there," said Duo, smirking. "He'll never miss it."  
  
"Duo!" said Hilde, looking aghast. "You told me Quatre gave that to you."  
  
"He gave me some crappy stuff so I sneaked down and exchanged it for this," said Duo. "That's what he gets for thinking I don't know anything about wine."  
  
Wufei shook his head. "Well, I'll get some glasses so we can share this ill- gotten booty."  
  
He got glasses from a cabinet in the kitchen and came back. Sally, dressed in red silk lounging clothes that matched his black ones, was sitting on the sofa, talking to Hilde.  
  
"So, that's when the shooting started?" asked Hilde.  
  
"Yes, Trowa and Heero noticed almost at the same instant that our waiter had a Red Fist tattoo on his wrist when he sleeve came up handing us our menus."  
  
Wufei was taking the metal cage off of the Champagne, and slowly pushed up the cork with his thumbs. It came off with a perfect "whoosh", and a ghostly mist of escaped effervescence. He carefully poured the sparkling pale liquid into the glasses.  
  
"To my brave Sally," said Wufei, as they raised their glasses and sipped.  
  
"To Quatre, Trowa and Heero whipping the bad guys," said Duo. The raised their glasses.  
  
"To Lu!" said Sally. Wufei glowered at her.  
  
"She's a heroine!" insisted Sally, thrusting out her lower lip. Hilde giggled.  
  
"Okay, to Lu." Wufei raised his glass reluctantly.  
  
"Niyaaaou!" said the cat, jumping onto the sofa upon hearing her name.  
  
She jumped down and started to wind around Wufei's legs.  
  
He bore it comfortably, not flinching or frowning.  
  
"I see the kitty likes you now," said Duo. "See all you had to do was be nice to her."  
  
"I haven't done anything different," protested Wufei.  
  
"I saw you slip her something off your plate this morning," said Sally. "Give it up, Wufei. Admit it, you like Lu."  
  
Wufei merely drank another sip of Champagne and said nothing.  
  
"Aw, you'll never drag anything out of Wufei," said Duo. "He's a tomb."  
  
"I'll tickle it out of him later," said Sally with a wink.  
  
Wufei spluttered a little on his Champagne.  
  
"Silly woman," he muttered.  
  
"How's Heero?" asked Hilde, not too subtly changing the subject.  
  
"Oh, 23 stitches, an antibiotic, overnight in the hospital and he's fine," said Sally. "He was lucky, we all were." She suddenly looked serious and put down her Champagne glass.  
  
"Oh, I noticed Relena was there to hover over him," said Duo. "Hee-chan looked like he was in a flower shop when he called headquarters. Last time I saw her, she was pouting because he made her give most of them to charity." He snickered.  
  
"Sometimes, I swear you all have targets painted on your backs," said Hilde, shaking her head. She put down her glass next to Sally's.  
  
"Hey, there's worse jobs than being a moving target; I could be cleaning out sewers," joked Duo. Hilde gave him a severe look.  
  
"Sorry," he squeaked, looking at the serious faces around him. He quickly downed the rest of his glass of Champagne, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.  
  
"Well, Hilde my love, we need to make a break for it before Wu-chan here skewers me," said Duo.  
  
"It's getting late," said Hilde. "We just wanted to bring you the Champagne, and see if Sally was all right."  
  
"Thank you," said Wufei, grabbing Duo's upper arm and ushering him none to gently to the door.  
  
"Oh ho, now I get it, we were interrupting a little Wu-Sal one-on-one," said Duo, winking lasciviously.  
  
"I'm driving," said Hilde, plunging her hand his jacket pocket and snagging the car keys.  
  
Wufei gave him an outraged look and pointed towards the door silently.  
  
"See ya at work!" said Duo cheerily, as Hilde grabbed his other arm and pulled him through the door.  
  
"Finally!" said Wufei, shutting the door and double locking it.  
  
He went to the vidphone and disconnected the link.  
  
"I'm going to have one evening alone with my wife with no interruptions if I have to kill someone to get it!" he groused, as Sally stretched out on the sofa again and kicked off her slippers.  
  
"I don't think we'll have to resort to murder," she murmured, as he sat back down on the sofa and pulled her foot back into his lap.  
  
"Now, as they say in old movies, where were we before we were so rudely interrupted?"  
  
"You were pretending to be my slave," purred Sally.  
  
"In your dreams, woman," he said, as he continued to massage her feet.  
  
"Oh yeah," she said. "Want me to tell you all about it?"  
  
"Why not show me instead?" he asked huskily.  
  
"How about both?"  
  
"Hm," was the response to that.  
  
"Ack! Wufei, that tickles!"  
  
"Niyaouuuuuuu!"  
  
"Ai-ya! God-forsaken, hell-spawned, worthless animal!" 


	7. Fear

Wufei and the Shanghai Terror  
  
Chapter 7  
  
Fear  
  
"You know," said Duo, leaning back at a precarious angle in his office chair, "there is one way to get Sally to quit babying that cat."  
  
"What?" asked Wufei reluctantly. He started to internally count how many seconds it would take Duo to lose his balance and fall flat on his back again.  
  
"Easy," said Duo. "Just have a baby, then she'll forget all about the stupid cat."  
  
"Huh?" Wufei remarked, looking at Duo over the top of his reading glasses.  
  
"You heard me, ugh!" Duo yelled, as he lost his balance and found himself lying on his back with his legs in the air.  
  
"Third time this week," remarked Wufei dryly. "And a new record, only took you 6 seconds."  
  
"It's pitiful that this is your only source of amusement," said Duo, struggling to right himself.  
  
"Need help?" asked Wufei smugly.  
  
"Bite me," said Duo, finally rolling over on his side and getting to his feet.  
  
"Back to the baby thing.." began Duo, righting his chair again and plunking himself into it.  
  
"What has that got to do with me and the blasted cat?" asked Wufei. He absently rubbed two healing scratches on the back of his right arm.  
  
"Well, I figure the cat is a substitute for a baby, and if she had a real baby to fuss over, she would start treating the cat like, well, a cat."  
  
"What kind of crackpot theory is that?" asked Wufei, irritably. He was working on a particularly boring report that was supposed to have been done yesterday.  
  
"I dunno," said Duo. "Since Hilde got pregnant, she can't seem to think of anything else, so I figured..."  
  
"Do you get these ideas off the darker corners of the internet, or do you cook them up in that sad excuse for a brain of yours?" asked Wufei, re- typing the same sentence 3 times.  
  
"Just because you and Hilde had an 'accident' of the parental kind, you want everyone else to have one too?"  
  
"Hell, you don't have to insult me just because you're scared of the idea of having a kid," said Duo.  
  
"I am not 'scared' of anything of the sort," said Wufei, finally slamming his laptop shut.  
  
"I'm going to lunch," he announced, standing up and flinging off his glasses impatiently.  
  
"But, it's only 11:00!" said Duo. Wufei ignored him and stalked off.  
  
"I'm telling Une," he sang in a taunting voice and skipped out of Wufei's office down the hall.  
  
Wufei found himself walking outside a few minutes later, taking deep calming breaths and decompressing.  
  
His cell phone rang. "Duo, I'll be there in a minute!" he said in to the device in an exasperated tone.  
  
"This isn't Duo," said a familiar female voice. "Having a bad day?" asked Sally.  
  
"You might say that," he said hesitantly.  
  
"Can you get away early?"  
  
"I think so, is something wrong?" he asked resignedly.  
  
"Why do you think that?" Sally asked him.  
  
"I don't know," he admitted honestly. "Is there?'  
  
"No, not really," said Sally.  
  
"What does that mean?"  
  
"Why are you being so negative?"  
  
"I'm not being negative."  
  
"Yes, you are!"  
  
"I am not!"  
  
"Oh, just cram it and be home by 3:30, okay!"  
  
"Sally?"  
  
"She hung up!" he muttered in surprised tones.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Wufei looked at the clock. 3:00 p.m. "I'm taking off early," he said to Duo.  
  
"Good, you need to go home and get seriously de-stressed," said Duo. "If you know what I'm talkin' bout." He winked lasciviously.  
  
Wufei groaned. "Is that ALL you ever think about?" he asked.  
  
"Pretty much," said Duo. "I'm 21, male, healthy, and that's fairly normal from what I understand."  
  
"I have a headache," sighed Wufei, rubbing his temples and leaning back in his chair.  
  
"Stress," said Duo, nodding wisely to himself as he bent paper clips into strange shapes.  
  
"Oh, shut up," said Wufei, abruptly, slamming his briefcase closed and standing toleave.  
  
"Have a nice day!" yelled Duo facetiously, as Wufei left.  
  
15 minutes later, he pulled into the driveway.  
  
As he went to open the front door, it opened ahead of him.  
  
"Feeling better?" asked Sally. She was dressed in something lacy and red, but his mind barely took in the details.  
  
"Not really," he sighed. "Bad day."  
  
"Oh," said Sally, dumbly.  
  
"You never did tell me why you wanted me to come home early," he said, dropping his things uncharacteristically on the floor near the door and then sitting down heavily in an armchair to take off his boots. He sat them aside and leaned back with a loud exhalation into the softness of the chair.  
  
"It can wait," said Sally.  
  
He shrugged.  
  
"Whatever, I have a damn headache anyway," he grumbled.  
  
"Take two aspirin and call me in the morning," Sally joked.  
  
He glared at her. "Not funny."  
  
"Sorry," she said, coming up behind him. "Maybe I can help."  
  
She reached around and loosened his tie, and then unbuttoned several shirt buttons.  
  
"Better?" she asked.  
  
"Not really," he muttered. "I was planning on doing that anyway."  
  
"Grump," she exclaimed softly. "How about this?" She began to gently massage his tense shoulders.  
  
He made a wordless sound of approval. "Is that a yummy noise I hear?" she asked.  
  
"Uh-huh," he replied, closing his eyes.  
  
"If you take this off, it's even better," she said, fingering his uniform shirt.  
  
He hurriedly shrugged out of it, pulling impatiently at the buttons.  
  
Sally began to rub his neck.  
  
"Ah, right there," he said, sinking down into the chair.  
  
After about 10 more minutes, he was getting a little drowsy.  
  
He reached up and stilled Sally's hand. "That's enough, you must be getting tired."  
  
"I'm fine," she protested.  
  
"If I get anymore relaxed, you'll have to carry me to bed," he said with a faint smile.  
  
She came around and sat on his lap. "I'm glad you're feeling better," she said.  
  
"Why do I have the feeling I'm being fattened for the kill?" said Wufei, slipping his arms around her and inhaling the light perfume she was wearing. Jasmine, he thought in a distant corner of his foggy brain.  
  
"Don't be so suspicious," said Sally, placing a kiss on his hair. "Can't I be nice to you for no reason at all?"  
  
"Perhaps," he admitted reluctantly.  
  
"I do have something I need to discuss with you," said Sally, "but it can wait."  
  
"Might as well spit it out," he said, "I'm not going to get any more relaxed than I am right now."  
  
"All right," said Sally, taking a deep breath. "It has to do with Lu."  
  
"The cat?" asked Wufei, slightly puzzled.  
  
"Yes, I was thinking that I'm spoiling her."  
  
"You think?"  
  
"No need to be sarcastic," Sally remarked.  
  
"All right," he agreed. "So, we finally agree you've been spoiling the cat."  
  
"But," continued Sally, "the real question is, Why am I spoiling the cat?"  
  
"I don't know, Why?" he asked dryly, raising his brows.  
  
"Well," she hedged, "I'm beginning to think it's become a substitute for something I've been wanting and haven't admitted to myself. Until recently."  
  
"And that is, what?" he asked. "The need to harbor an assassin?"  
  
"Are you making fun of me?" asked Sally, "Because I'm trying to be serious here."  
  
"Sorry," he said. "I've been hanging around Maxwell too much, and I had a lousy day to boot."  
  
"I think you were capable of being sarcastic a long time before you met Duo."  
  
"Yes, but its so easy to blame him for my shortcomings. And so rewarding."  
  
"Are you going to let me finish?"  
  
"All right," he sighed. "Since my leg is falling asleep, I guess I should let you finish."  
  
"I could sit somewhere else."  
  
"No, you're fine right here, just shift a little. Ah, there, that's better."  
  
"Now that your leg is out of danger, I want to talk to you about starting a family."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I'm sure you heard me, I'm only 2 inches from your ear."  
  
"You want to have a b-bab-child?" he stuttered.  
  
"Did you just stutter?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Yes you did."  
  
"If I did, it's only because Duo Maxwell was right about something."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Nothing. It's just that Duo told me this afternoon if we had a baby, then you wouldn't have to treat the cat like one."  
  
"That's actually very perceptive of him."  
  
"Hey, even a blind squirrel finds an acorn once in awhile."  
  
"Wufei!"  
  
"I'm sorry, this just destroys my whole concept of Duo Maxwell as an pony- tailed pestilential pain in the posterior."  
  
"Quit avoiding the subject."  
  
"You mean the b-baby subject."  
  
"You stuttered again. Does that mean I should drop it?"  
  
"Ah, no, I'm just a bit taken aback. Is this one of those 'my biological clock is ticking like a time-bomb' female things?"  
  
"Um, yes, something like that. I do hate to remind you of this, but I am 4 years older than you. Actually, 3 years and 5 months, but..."  
  
"I know," he said. "You'll be 25 in 2 months."  
  
"I'm not saying I'm ancient, Wufei, but I know women, professional women like myself who wait until they're in their 30's and 40's to do this and I'm not sure I want to wait that long."  
  
He was quiet, idly playing with a strand of her long blond hair. "Do I have to answer you tonight?" he finally said.  
  
"Of course not!" Sally said. "Take as long as you want. Within reason, of course. Before menopause would be nice."  
  
He grunted. "Always joking," he muttered.  
  
"Is it really that much of a surprise that I'd want to have a family someday?"  
  
"No," he said, "I simply assumed we would someday. I always intended with.." He stopped himself. "I mean, with Meiran, the expectation was that we would have children. It was the main reason we were even married."  
  
"I'm not trying to force any "expectations" upon you, Wufei." Sally stood, and went to sit opposite him.  
  
"I know. To be honest, I'm still somewhat at a loss when it comes to considering the future," he said gravely.  
  
"Things are different now. Maybe it would help you feel like part of a family again, did you ever think of that?"  
  
He looked at her sadly. "I try not to think of that."  
  
"But you must, sometimes," she whispered.  
  
"As a doctor, you should know the danger of reopening old wounds," he said, more sharply than he intended.  
  
"I'm sorry," she whispered.  
  
He shifted uncomfortably. "No, I'm sorry," he said. "This isn't your problem, its mine. If I weren't so weak, I'd not be afraid to consider what you're wanting." He hung his head and stared at the floor.  
  
"Maybe this was the wrong time to bring this up," Sally stood up. "You haven't even had dinner, and here I am bothering you about something we have plenty of time to work out." She gave him a falsely cheerful smile and began to walk over to the vidphone.  
  
"We're both a little tired, why don't I call for some takeout, and we'll eat. You'll feel better when you've had something to eat." She punched in a number and Wufei looked at the floor while she made a short call.  
  
She finished and sat down. "Well, I guess I'd better change into something more suitable. I don't want to scare off the delivery man." She laughed, a high forced noise and went in the direction of the bedroom.  
  
"Please don't hate me, Sally," he whispered when she left.  
  
He got up and stretched, trying to loosen the stiffness that had returned to his neck and shoulders, but it didn't help much.  
  
"What the hell is wrong with me?" he said aloud.  
  
He walked down the hallway to splash some cold water on his face. As he walked by the bedroom door, he heard a muffled sound.  
  
"Damnit!" he hissed when he realized what it was. Sally, who wouldn't shed a tear with a bullet in her leg, was crying her eyes out in the bedroom.  
  
"I'm such a bastard!" he said to himself.  
  
"Sally?" he said, raising his voice to be heard through the door.  
  
"Please, I want to be alone," she said in a choked voice. "Please, it's nothing, I'm just being silly. I'll be fine, just leave me alone."  
  
He tried the door. "Sally unlock this door right now."  
  
"NO!" she said, sounding more angry now than upset.  
  
"You hate me, don't you?" he yelled through the door.  
  
"Just leave me the hell alone!" she yelled back. "No I don't hate you. Now go away!"  
  
"If you don't hate me, then open the goddamned door!" he shouted. "I'll kick it in, you know I'm not bluffing!" he warned.  
  
"Oh, go to hell!" Sally screamed at him. "Go screw yourself, go take a long walk off a short spacedock, go jump off a cliff, just leave me alone!"  
  
"Is this one of those female things?" he asked, suddenly.  
  
"Oh shut up, you impossible jackass!" she yelled.  
  
"I knew it!" he yelled back. "Well, I'm not going to stand here yelling at you like an idiot just because your hormones are in a snit!"  
  
"I've got a gun," said Sally through the door, "and you know I know how to use it."  
  
"Oh, puleeze!" he scoffed. "That's it, you're being totally irrational now. I'm kicking down this door."  
  
"Don't you dare, you, you, MAN!" Sally shrieked.  
  
"I'm counting to five, and then, I'm doing it," said Wufei. "One."  
  
"Oh, you wouldn't dare!" said Sally again.  
  
"Two!" he said, taking a deep breath.  
  
"You're kidding, right?" said Sally, uncertainly.  
  
"Three!" he crowed, stretching out his leg muscles to prepare for the kick.  
  
"OH, come on!" Sally yelled through the door.  
  
"FOUR!" he said. "No, I'm not kidding!" he added. "You know better, woman!"  
  
"Okay okay, I'm opening the door," said Sally. "You win!"  
  
"FIVE!" said Wufei, not hearing that last remark.  
  
Sally opened the door just as Wufei yelled and propelled his body into a full spinning kick which collided with... thin air.  
  
Unfortunately for Wufei, the third law of thermodynamics was still in effect and the momentum of his kick drove him squarely into the laquered cabinet across from the door, which splintered quite nicely, leaving the floor littered with jade knick-knacks, glass and broken china pieces.  
  
"Very nice," said Sally dryly. "Are you injured?"  
  
"No," said Wufei stubbornly, spitting out a little blood from the inside of his cheek.  
  
"Feel better now that you've destroyed the evil curio cabinet?" she asked sarcastically.  
  
"Yes," he said, standing up, "much better. Don't just stand there, get me a broom, woman," he said with as much dignity as he could muster.  
  
The doorbell rang. "Be right back," she said sweetly, grabbing her purse. Now less alluringly attired in blue sweats, she went to answer the door.  
  
Sally came back several minutes later with a broom and a dustpan.  
  
"Here," she said, handing it to him.  
  
He quietly went to work sweeping up what was left of the cabinet doors and other assorted ornamental bits of now-rubbish.  
  
"Sally," he said, after he was done and sitting on a chair next to the bed.  
  
"What, dear?" she said calmly.  
  
"I'm sorry I'm such a bastard," he said.  
  
"I know you are," she said to him. "But I forgive you."  
  
He nodded and exhaled. "I'm sorry I broke your cabinet, and some of your porcelain collection."  
  
"I know."  
  
"I'm sorry I'm scared to have a b-baby with you," he whispered.  
  
"I know, Wufei. It's all right."  
  
"I'll work on it, all right, I mean, I want to, I just have to get used to the idea."  
  
"Yes, dear," Sally said gently.  
  
"Are you hungry?"  
  
He nodded wordlessly.  
  
"Don't move!" warned Sally.  
  
"What!" he asked, alarmed.  
  
"Lu is under your chair, ready to pounce!" she whispered.  
  
She walked casually over and before the cat could jump on Wufei's unsuspecting feet, she snatched up the cat in her arms.  
  
"Bad girl!" she hissed at Lu. "No biting Wufei's toes!"  
  
Wufei almost snickered as the cat flattened her ears and glared at Sally.  
  
"Thank you," he said seriously. "I hate it when she attacks my bare toes."  
  
Sally took the cat and opening the spare bathroom door, set her down inside and quickly shut it behind her.  
  
"Lets say we have dinner without the Shanghai Terror stalking you for once," she said, smiling.  
  
"I'd love that," he said, holding out his arms to Sally.  
  
"Then we can make up," she said, coming over and embracing him.  
  
"I'd love that," he said again, smiling. 


	8. The Terror Terrorized

Wufei and the Shanghai Terror  
  
Chapter 8  
  
The Terror Terrorized  
  
"Mei, quit pulling Lu's tail!" Sally said, capturing the little girl in her arms.  
  
"I can't believe that beast doesn't scratch her," said Wufei, shaking his head.  
  
"Kitty!" said Mei, trying desperately to reach the cat as she slunk under the sofa.  
  
"No, leave kitty alone," said Sally. "Kitty doesn't like her tail pulled."  
  
"She has a one track mind," said Wufei, unable to suppress a hint of pride in his voice.  
  
"No kidding," said Sally, putting the two-year old down. "I've been chasing her around all morning and I'm exhausted."  
  
"Kitty!" said Mei, as she bent over and tried to look under the sofa. Being toddler proportioned, she was able to look between her legs without bending them, head resting on the floor.  
  
Wufei openly smirked.  
  
"You think it's funny," accused Sally.  
  
"You mean that a hell-spawned cat is no match for my daughter?"  
  
"Yes, and I'm trying to teach her to be kind to animals. You're not helping!"  
  
"Find me an animal that was kind to me, and I'll help you," he replied.  
  
"Argh," said Sally. "No, Mei, you can't pull kitty out that way!"  
  
"Pretty kitty," said Mei.  
  
Sally had an idea. "Mei-mei, what if Mu gets you your very own kitty?"  
  
"Kitty!" said Mei.  
  
"Come on, we're going to a toy store!  
  
Mei, her dark brown hair swishing, looked up, her green eyes sparkling. "Toys!" she said happily, clapping her hands.  
  
"That got her attention," said Wufei dryly. "What are you up to, woman?" he asked Sally.  
  
"We're going to get Mei her own stuffed kitty, and she'll leave Lu alone, problem solved."  
  
"Oh, good thinking," said Wufei doubtfully.  
  
"Trust me, this will work," said Sally.  
  
"Whatever you say."  
  
"Okay, come with us, then you can see for yourself."  
  
"You just don't want to chase Mei all by yourself," said Wufei.  
  
"Well, that too," admitted Sally.  
  
"I'll come, but I reserve the right to say 'I told you so,' when she goes right back to terrorizing the cat."  
  
"Deal," said Sally. "Come on, Mei-Mei, Ba is coming with us."  
  
"Ba, Mei wants up!" said Mei, reaching up to Wufei.  
  
He bent over and picked her up.  
  
"You promise to be a good girl and not run away this time?" asked Wufei.  
  
"Mei-Mei is good," she said seriously, putting a chubby arm around his neck.  
  
"Mei-Mei better be good," he said with mock gruffness.  
  
Mei giggled. "Ba!" she said, giving him a sloppy but earnest kiss on the cheek.  
  
"Thanks," he said, wiping his face with his hand. "You're overflowing with the juices of life, my daughter."  
  
Mei giggled again. "Funny Ba!"  
  
"She's got your number," said Sally, having changed into something more suitable. "Ready to go?"  
  
"Other than being slightly damp, yes," said Wufei.  
  
"Speaking of damp," said Sally. "Mei, do you need to go?"  
  
"Mei goes potty all by herself," said Mei proudly.  
  
"So I hear about a dozen times a day," said Wufei. "It's the main topic of conversation around here."  
  
"Come on," said Sally holding out her hand to Mei, "Let's take care of that before we go."  
  
Wufei sat down again, sighing impatiently. "Get used to it," said Sally. "Waiting around for females seems to be something you're doomed to for the rest of your life."  
  
"Wonderful," he said ironically.  
  
"This next time, we'll have a boy, and you can wait together," said Sally, winking at him.  
  
"What do you mean, this next time?" he asked to the room, as Sally had taken Mei down the hallway to the bathroom.  
  
His stomach tightened a little and his mouth went dry. "What did she mean by that?" he asked himself.  
  
"Crazy woman, always teasing me," he said aloud.  
  
He got up and began to pace nervously around the living room.  
  
"All done," said Sally brightly, holding on to Mei.  
  
"Mei went potty!" said Mei, fishing for the usual praise.  
  
"Huh?" said Wufei, his mind elsewhere.  
  
"She wants you to tell her she's a good girl," said Sally, prompting him.  
  
"Oh, right, good girl, Mei," he said absently.  
  
"Something wrong?" asked Sally. "You look, I don't know, upset?"  
  
"What did you mean when you said, 'this next time'"?" he asked Sally.  
  
"Did I say that?" asked Sally, looking innocently at him.  
  
"Yes, you said, 'this next time, we'll have a boy'. I remember it distinctly."  
  
"Oh," said Sally. "I guess I did. Slip of the tongue, oh well." She laughed nervously.  
  
"Is this your not so subtle way of telling me you want to have another baby?" he demanded, folding his arms.  
  
"Well, no," said Sally.  
  
"Good, because it's just too soon, don't you think?" he said. "I mean, we just got this one out of diapers."  
  
"Actually, this is my not so bright way of letting you know we ARE having another baby," said Sally quietly.  
  
Wufei sat down heavily.  
  
"What?" he said dully.  
  
"Congratulations," said Sally, "We're pregnant. Again."  
  
"I can't believe you're telling me this now, with no warning, nothing!" he said, rubbing his temples. "Look at me, I'm a nervous wreck!" He held out a perfectly steady hand.  
  
"I was planning on telling you soon, honest," said Sally. "I just found out myself, yesterday!"  
  
"You can't just spring this sort of thing on a man!" cried Wufei.  
  
"OH, like it wasn't a surprise to me, too!" said Sally indignantly.  
  
"Ba, Mu, be quiet!" said Mei, folding her arms and glaring at both of them.  
  
The looked at her. "We shouldn't be discussing this in front of Mei," said Wufei.  
  
"You're right," said Sally. "Come here, Mei." Mei gave her a frown and shook her head.  
  
"It's all right, Ba and Mu aren't mad at each other," said Sally.  
  
"Loud!" said Mei, not budging. "Ba and Mu are loud!"  
  
"Ba is sorry," said Wufei. He looked at Sally. "Really sorry," he said, holding out his hand to her.  
  
Sally went over and sat on his lap. "I know," she said, putting her arms around him and kissing him on the head. He put his arms around her tightly for a few moments.  
  
"Kitty," said Mei. "Mei wants a kitty!"  
  
"Okay, I guess we promised," said Sally, wiping her eyes a little. "A kitty for Mei."  
  
"Mustn't keep the boss waiting," said Wufei, "Come on, Mei. Ba will give you a ride."  
  
Mei jumped up and down. "Horsie!" she squealed.  
  
"That's me, the horsie," said Wufei, swinging her up onto his shoulders.  
  
"You're not upset, really?" asked Sally quietly.  
  
"No, of course not," said Wufei. "How could I be angry with you about this? I was just overreacting."  
  
"I'm sorry I didn't say anything sooner."  
  
"I'm sorry I acted like an idiot. I should be happy. I AM happy."  
  
"Well, that's not the way I intended to tell you."  
  
"I know. Hey, maybe this time, it'll be a boy, just as you said."  
  
"What if it's another girl?" asked Sally, grinning at him.  
  
"Then it will be another girl," said Wufei, "and I'll be as happy as I was when Mei was born," he leaned over and gave Sally a kiss.  
  
"No kissing, Horsie!" said Mei. "Go!" She kicked her feet impatiently.  
  
Sally laughed, and Wufei chuckled. "Well, you heard her, let's go, Horsie." 


	9. The Two Terrors

Wufei and the Shanghai Terror  
  
Chapter 9  
  
The Two Terrors  
  
"Bad Shen!" said Mei, grabbing her baby brother by the ankle as he tried to dive under her bed.  
  
"Kitty!" said Shen.  
  
Shanghai Lu, now an expert in avoiding over-zealous tots, clung determinedly to the bottom of the bed, meowing pitifully.  
  
"Mu," Mei yelled, "Shen is trying to grab the kitty again!"  
  
"Shen, no-no!" said Sally, running into Mei's bedroom.  
  
Shen pouted, 'no' not being one of his favorite words at the age of two, unless it was him uttering it.  
  
"Mu!" he stomped his small foot, crossed his arms and scowled. Sally had to bite her lip to keep from grinning at the overwhelming resemblance to her husband in a foul mood.  
  
"Mei, could you give him your kitty?" asked Sally. She knew that reasoning with a two-year old was pointless (also with husbands) and distraction was the better part of parenting toddlers.  
  
"MU!" cried Mei. "I ALWAYS have to give him my kitty!" She was referring to her favorite stuffed animal, a now slightly raggedy Siamese cat.  
  
"You know you'll get it back, sweetie," said Sally pleadingly.  
  
"Unfair!" said Mei. "Being the oldest stinks!"  
  
"Okay, I guess we'll have to let him cry," said Sally.  
  
"All right," Mei sulked. "I'll give him the damn kitty!"  
  
"MEI!" said Sally.  
  
"Ba says it all the time," said Mei defensively.  
  
"That doesn't mean little girls should say it," said Sally to the five-year old.  
  
"I wish I were a big man like Ba so I could say anything I want!" said Mei, stomping over to the shelf to get her toy cat.  
  
"And I wouldn't have to give Shen my kitty, either!"  
  
"Just because you're big doesn't mean you get your own way about everything," said Sally.  
  
"I know," said Mei. "You have to whip butt too!" She grinned widely.  
  
"Where did you hear that?" asked Sally, already guessing.  
  
"Solo Maxwell told me," said Mei. "He said 'butt'." She giggled.  
  
"I guess I'll have to talk to Solo's mother about that," said Sally.  
  
"Solo knows lots of words I'm not allowed to say," said Mei in a conspiratorial tone.  
  
"I'll bet," said Sally dryly.  
  
"Here, Shen, play with Mei's kitty," said Sally, coaxing him from trying to crawl under his sister's bed.  
  
"Kitty!" said Shen, grabbing the be-draggled stuffed toy and poking at its button eyes.  
  
"Shen doesn't know how to be nice yet," said Mei. "He's mean to Lu."  
  
"So were you when you were two," said Sally. "That's why we got you Kitty."  
  
"I was not," said Mei. "I was never as dumb as Shen."  
  
"I hate to tell you, Miss Smarty Pants, but you were," Sally told her.  
  
Shen walked over to his sister and held out the toy. "Kitty?" he said.  
  
"See, Shen can be nice," said Sally.  
  
"He's just tired of it," said Mei. "Ew, he got Shen slobber on poor Kitty."  
  
She wiped the toy of on the bottom of her T-shirt.  
  
"He's always in my room, bugging me," said Mei, rolling her eyes.  
  
"He likes you," said Sally. Shen, taking his cue, grabbed Mei around the waist and gave her an enthusiastic hug.  
  
"Well, he is kind of cute sometimes," said Mei, grudgingly. She patted his shaggy black hair. He blinked solemnly up at her with large dark eyes.  
  
"Don't ask me, young lady," said Sally. "I think he's adorable."  
  
"You have to," said Mei, "You're his mom."  
  
"True," said Sally. "But, I'm your mom too, and so I think you're adorable as well."  
  
"Yuck," said Mei.  
  
"I'll take Shen so you can try to get Lu out from under your bed," said Sally.  
  
"Yeah, make him take a nap or something," said Mei. "Don't babies need naps?"  
  
"I wish," said Sally, sighing. "Come on, Terror, let's find you something to do."  
  
"Cookie?" asked Shen hopefully.  
  
"Okay, a cookie it is," said Sally.  
  
"Ba's home," said Mei, coming out of her room with Lu in her arms.  
  
Sally looked at the clock.  
  
"Too early," said Sally.  
  
"I saw his car out of my window," said Mei. "Everyone hide!"  
  
"Mei!" said Sally, trying to hide a grin. "Just because your father is home early doesn't mean anything is wrong."  
  
"Yeah, right," said Mei. "Run, Lu, Ba's coming," she whispered to the cat, who high-tailed it to one of her favorite hiding places.  
  
"BA!" said Shen, looking around. "Well at least someone's happy about it," said Sally.  
  
Wufei came in the door and slammed it so hard, the china in the cupboard rattled.  
  
"That's it, I'm resigning tomorrow, first thing!" he yelled, throwing down his Preventor's jacket on a nearby chair. "There is no goddamn way I am working with Maxwell another day."  
  
"Wufei!" said Sally, quickly covering Shen's ears. He gave her a puzzled look and keep eating his cookie.  
  
Mei grinned. "Told you." She flipped her long braid over her shoulder and strutted off.  
  
"Goddamn," she whispered, giggling and went into her room.  
  
"What happened now?" said Sally, sitting down with Shen on her lap still gnawing away on his cookie. At least three-quarters of it managed to actually get in his mouth. He was a very neat two-year old.  
  
"Do you know what that ben dan did today?" asked Wufei.  
  
"Um, no, that's why I asked," said Sally calmly.  
  
"He deleted all of my report files for the last 3 months!" Wufei exploded.  
  
"Do you know how long it's going to take me to duplicate all of those!"  
  
"No?" asked Sally carefully.  
  
"AT least a WEEK!" exclaimed Wufei. "A week of nothing but reconstructing reports from vaguely grammatical notes written by field agents who don't know their ass from their elbow!"  
  
Shen smiled a messy grin at him and offered his father his half-eaten cookie.  
  
"Would you like a cookie?" asked Sally with mock gravity.  
  
Wufei looked at her dumbfounded for a full minute.  
  
"Cookie?" asked Shen, still smiling hopefully.  
  
"Uh, no thank you, Shen," said Wufei quietly.  
  
"You can have one of your own," said Sally sweetly. "And some tea."  
  
"I don't think it will help," said Wufei, rubbing the back of his neck.  
  
"It usually works for Shen," said Sally. "It's worth a try."  
  
"Okay, I'll have some tea," said Wufei, finally.  
  
"Is Ba through going ballistic?" asked Mei, coming into the kitchen.  
  
"Yes, I'm through going ballistic," said Wufei, frowning at her slightly.  
  
"Kids are so disrespectful anymore," he complained to no one in particular.  
  
"I bet your parents said the same thing," said Sally, setting a cup of strong tea in front of him.  
  
"Humph" said Wufei. "I'll have you know I was a perfectly well-behaved child."  
  
Mei giggled.  
  
"I was," Wufei insisted, sipping his tea. "I would have never laughed at my elders."  
  
"Didn't they ever do anything funny?" asked Mei, curiously.  
  
"Well, yes, um, no, I can't remember," said Wufei, slightly flustered.  
  
"All the grownups I know do funny stuff all the time," she said thoughtfully.  
  
"Mrs. Gardner, my teacher, makes a funny sound when she blows her nose."  
  
"Maybe she has allergies," said Sally.  
  
"Maybe she's allergic to smart aleck kids," said Wufei, looking pointedly at Mei.  
  
"I don't think that's possible," said Mei seriously.  
  
"Can you be allergic to a person, Mu?" she asked her mother.  
  
"No, not really," said Sally, giving Wufei an old-fashioned look.  
  
"Too bad, that might have worked with Maxwell," said Wufei, sighing resignedly. "I could have gotten a medical transfer to another department."  
  
"Solo says his dad works with some cranky guy," said Mei, "Is that you, Ba?"  
  
Wufei said nothing, taking a long sip of his tea.  
  
"Solo and I are going to get married," said Mei, smiling brightly.  
  
Wufei choked, and tea almost came out of his nose.  
  
"Never!" he said, and got up. "I'm going to take a nice hot bath," he said. "Nobody talk to me for at least an hour!"  
  
"I'll hide the razors," said Sally, getting up quickly to follow him.  
  
The End 


End file.
